I find that book about the five love languages to be interesting. I wonder how long it took him to settle on those five specifically. I don't disagree with them, and I believe that they are very accurate, but I have wondered if they are the only love languages out there. These kinds of musings has made me decide to add a few to the list. The first is one that I feel fits me.
My love language is torment.
Sounds nasty right? My love language is apparently to ruin people's worlds. And yet, when I look at it, this really fits me. Keep in mind that this isn't torture. I'm not into putting people on the rack and stretching them until they split. That's wrong, weird, and would raise some serious questions that I don't think anyone wants to ask. Let's move on, quickly.
I express my affection in a more abrasive way. I love to mess with people. Every chance my friends give me for a witty or sarcastic comment, I take. I'm not out to make them feel bad, just to have some fun. To me, it shows that I am very comfortable around people. The closer I am with people, the more I tend to give them a hard time.
It's interesting when I look at this. I've graphed it out in my head a few times, and I've found an interesting anomaly. Once I become close enough to someone, I find that the curve drops drastically. I have people that I've known well who I don't be so harsh with. Weird right? I still am, just not to the same extent. I guess you could call it a right of passage, a trial by fire. If someone is willing to take that much abuse from me, then they're able to let me be a little more real with them.
And there is a difference between my fun sarcasm, and the tone I take with people I don't like. I've seen it before, people who tick me off get a different form of cynic. I find myself to be very biting in my comments to them. It's not the funny, witty banter, but real solid insults. I guess that confuses some people. They look at how I treat my friends, and how I treat some others, and they don't see it. Well, I blame them for that. There are ways to tell, and they only require a little investigation.
Love languages are an interesting thing. We all have our own way of showing our affection, and as accurate as the five common ones are, I don't think they get to the heart of how we interact. They're an umbrella, covering most of the types. I think it's good that we're all unique in our affections.
One a side note, that uniqueness makes it really difficult to gauge people, but that's for another time.
Just something to chew on.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
Mirror, mirror...
Anyone who knows about the existence of a little company called Disney should be able to finish the above line. The old queen was jealous of Snow White, and sent her away. Recently, I've been thinking a bit about things like looks and self-confidence. Here's my latest thought:
Get some self-esteem kids!
Harsh, yes, but necessary I think. There are a bunch of people who aren't happy with how they look, and who think that they're looks define them. Shallow right? But I think we all do it. There are always times when you look at someone and think, "Man, if I were that pretty," or "that muscular," or :"that tall." We compare ourselves to others all the time.
If this is such a part of human nature, you might be asking yourself why I am venting about it. Here's my little issue. Many people I hear bemoaning their looks are better looking then they think. I live in a dorm of guys and girls, and I thoroughly love it. Now, I put this out there so that when I say, I have seen people looking their best, and their worst, you can know I have an interesting sample.
I've hear many girls talking about how they wish they were taller, or skinner, or weighed more (surprising, I know), or looked better in this or that. These types of complaints bother me. I don't think that we can honestly judge how we look. We'll either be arrogant, and over estimate how good looking we are, or under sell ourselves. I look around, and each complaint I hear seems wholly nonsensical to me. I takes some will power not to reach over and slap the back of their heads in frustration. I've heard similar complaints from some of the guys, and it's just as irksome.
Here's what I purpose, we should, as a society, be allowed to ask if we look good, or tell someone they look good. Don't try and tell me that we are like that all ready. I can't go up to a person I don't know and say they look pretty, that'll start raising questions and accusations in their mind. Sometimes I just want to be allowed to compliment someone without being interrogated after. One of the main causes for low self-esteem, in my mind, is that we refuse to let someone compliment us. If we would, I think that there wold be less fixation on body image.
On a side note, I know it is probably weird to hear me complaining about not being able to compliment someone, don't get used to it.
Just something to chew on.
(Daily Application: If you want to increase your self-esteem a little, do what I do. When you pass a mirror, stop, look at yourself, and tell yourself that you look good today. It might sound egotistical, but if someone else won't say it, we should at least be allowed to.)
Get some self-esteem kids!
Harsh, yes, but necessary I think. There are a bunch of people who aren't happy with how they look, and who think that they're looks define them. Shallow right? But I think we all do it. There are always times when you look at someone and think, "Man, if I were that pretty," or "that muscular," or :"that tall." We compare ourselves to others all the time.
If this is such a part of human nature, you might be asking yourself why I am venting about it. Here's my little issue. Many people I hear bemoaning their looks are better looking then they think. I live in a dorm of guys and girls, and I thoroughly love it. Now, I put this out there so that when I say, I have seen people looking their best, and their worst, you can know I have an interesting sample.
I've hear many girls talking about how they wish they were taller, or skinner, or weighed more (surprising, I know), or looked better in this or that. These types of complaints bother me. I don't think that we can honestly judge how we look. We'll either be arrogant, and over estimate how good looking we are, or under sell ourselves. I look around, and each complaint I hear seems wholly nonsensical to me. I takes some will power not to reach over and slap the back of their heads in frustration. I've heard similar complaints from some of the guys, and it's just as irksome.
Here's what I purpose, we should, as a society, be allowed to ask if we look good, or tell someone they look good. Don't try and tell me that we are like that all ready. I can't go up to a person I don't know and say they look pretty, that'll start raising questions and accusations in their mind. Sometimes I just want to be allowed to compliment someone without being interrogated after. One of the main causes for low self-esteem, in my mind, is that we refuse to let someone compliment us. If we would, I think that there wold be less fixation on body image.
On a side note, I know it is probably weird to hear me complaining about not being able to compliment someone, don't get used to it.
Just something to chew on.
(Daily Application: If you want to increase your self-esteem a little, do what I do. When you pass a mirror, stop, look at yourself, and tell yourself that you look good today. It might sound egotistical, but if someone else won't say it, we should at least be allowed to.)
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Force of Will
So, I've been meaning to put something up, and this is all I can think of. I've started running, mostly because my Fitness for Life class tells me I have to do something physical, but also because I've been meaning to anyway. I've considered myself in a "relaxed" physical state, and I don't really think of myself as a big time runner. That being said, there is something really fascinating that the human body can do.
Our drive to keep going is amazing.
I run "The Loop" around campus, a stretch of road all the way around the main buildings that goes for something like 1.1 miles. It works for the exercise that I need. I run, usually, late at night, something like 1 or 2 in the morning. It's quiet and I can run without thinking people are watching me. I'm not self conscious mind you, I just look a little odd: toe running shoes, cargo shorts, whatever t-shirt I happened to have on at the time, a bandanna, and the lanky frame.
All that build up, and it doesn't really pertain to what I'm saying. At about 3/4 of the way, usually near the chapel, I feel my legs giving out. They feel like they'll just not let me go any further. Yet, I have never stopped because of fatigue, (there was one time I stopped running, but that was because a bus full of people were leaving for a Spring break trip, and I decided to see them off.) The thing that keeps me going is a desire to get to the end.
Ambition is such an amazing quality. God gives us a drive to do something, and we can do it. I love that my body has limits that I can push past. Late night running is one thing, but I know that I can do more in my life. I want to apply that same doggedness to other areas, like doing more reviews for Doc, or getting a major role in a play.
On a side note, I've cut my running time down. I started at about 10 minutes, and am at about 9 at this point. Hooray for measurable progress.
Just something to chew on.
Our drive to keep going is amazing.
I run "The Loop" around campus, a stretch of road all the way around the main buildings that goes for something like 1.1 miles. It works for the exercise that I need. I run, usually, late at night, something like 1 or 2 in the morning. It's quiet and I can run without thinking people are watching me. I'm not self conscious mind you, I just look a little odd: toe running shoes, cargo shorts, whatever t-shirt I happened to have on at the time, a bandanna, and the lanky frame.
All that build up, and it doesn't really pertain to what I'm saying. At about 3/4 of the way, usually near the chapel, I feel my legs giving out. They feel like they'll just not let me go any further. Yet, I have never stopped because of fatigue, (there was one time I stopped running, but that was because a bus full of people were leaving for a Spring break trip, and I decided to see them off.) The thing that keeps me going is a desire to get to the end.
Ambition is such an amazing quality. God gives us a drive to do something, and we can do it. I love that my body has limits that I can push past. Late night running is one thing, but I know that I can do more in my life. I want to apply that same doggedness to other areas, like doing more reviews for Doc, or getting a major role in a play.
On a side note, I've cut my running time down. I started at about 10 minutes, and am at about 9 at this point. Hooray for measurable progress.
Just something to chew on.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
The Hunger
Not only did I get White Castle, I got a package of frozen white castle, from the gas station by campus, at two thirty at night, after walking half a mile in the snow. I don't know what it was, (other than the fact I hadn't eaten all day) but I had a huge craving for some of these crappy little sliders. That desire is what I'm looking at now.
What is it with cravings?
We've all had them. For some unknown reason, we really want something to eat, and it's usually the strangest thing. For me it was the White Castle, but people crave some weird food they might have had in another country, or even something terrible they ate, but want again. Why? Never do we crave a healthy carrot stick, or a salad. It's always the food that clogs arteries and causes bloated comas.
Is there some imbalance of hormones or something? Pregnant women get some serious cravings during their time. When else will someone ask for a chocolate and blueberry covered halibut? Could all the chemical changes be the explanation? I'm not saying women are unstable (*cough*) but could that volotile period be an illustration as to how hormones affect our taste?
Cravings also tend to make us eat things that we might not like. I hate onions. Yes, I know they have no real flavor, but the texture really bothers me. Yet a craving sends me hunting for White Castle, known far and wide for having basically two ingredients, "meat" and onions. I eat it, and I enjoy it. Explain that too me.
Also, speaking of odd food, I feel a tinge of craving for an acorn right now. No, I'm not a squirrel. This autumn, I decided to eat an acorn, just because I was curious. It wasn't too bad, though a little bitter. I wanted another one a few weeks later, just out of the blue. Cravings are weird things.
Also, White Castle burgers and Sour Patch Kids are an interesting flavor mix....
Just something to chew on.
What is it with cravings?
We've all had them. For some unknown reason, we really want something to eat, and it's usually the strangest thing. For me it was the White Castle, but people crave some weird food they might have had in another country, or even something terrible they ate, but want again. Why? Never do we crave a healthy carrot stick, or a salad. It's always the food that clogs arteries and causes bloated comas.
Is there some imbalance of hormones or something? Pregnant women get some serious cravings during their time. When else will someone ask for a chocolate and blueberry covered halibut? Could all the chemical changes be the explanation? I'm not saying women are unstable (*cough*) but could that volotile period be an illustration as to how hormones affect our taste?
Cravings also tend to make us eat things that we might not like. I hate onions. Yes, I know they have no real flavor, but the texture really bothers me. Yet a craving sends me hunting for White Castle, known far and wide for having basically two ingredients, "meat" and onions. I eat it, and I enjoy it. Explain that too me.
Also, speaking of odd food, I feel a tinge of craving for an acorn right now. No, I'm not a squirrel. This autumn, I decided to eat an acorn, just because I was curious. It wasn't too bad, though a little bitter. I wanted another one a few weeks later, just out of the blue. Cravings are weird things.
Also, White Castle burgers and Sour Patch Kids are an interesting flavor mix....
Just something to chew on.
Monday, January 24, 2011
To be or Not to be?
All you intelligent (*ha*) literary people might notice that the title if from Shakespeare's Hamlet. In the play, Hamlet is wondering whether it would be better to kill himself or not. My topic isn't so depressing. Rather it is a thought on the theater.
A lucky few who are in my inner circle should know that I am right now in a production of The Count of Monte Cristo, here are Taylor. Since I'm only a few minor characters with little to say, I've had time to watch some of the more "professional" actors work. Every now and again, they would replace a word, or use a similar word, instead of the one written in the script. The director, at one point, went into a long speech about how the actors need to get the words exactly right. There was no room for anything but word for word recital.
Here's what I'm wondering. That same director has told us all to pour as much as we can into our characters. We are supposed to think like them, feel like them, be them. But this strict holding to the given words seems restricting. I'm a writer, and I know how important my words are, and i want people to use them right, but more importantly to me is that the story I want told is being given. What I've seen are words that mean the same thing, and sometimes add to the character. Using wish instead of want in some parts actually sounds better.
I am making no claim to know more than a practiced director. She's a good director and I respect what she thinks. This whole thing just seems like a set of mixed messages. We;re good enough to seem like the character's but not enough to speak like them? How little faith people have. I guess as long as the show turn out well, then this really doesn't matter too much.
Also, I'm amazed how powerful the urge to push certain theater majors off the stage can be.
Just something to chew on.
A lucky few who are in my inner circle should know that I am right now in a production of The Count of Monte Cristo, here are Taylor. Since I'm only a few minor characters with little to say, I've had time to watch some of the more "professional" actors work. Every now and again, they would replace a word, or use a similar word, instead of the one written in the script. The director, at one point, went into a long speech about how the actors need to get the words exactly right. There was no room for anything but word for word recital.
Here's what I'm wondering. That same director has told us all to pour as much as we can into our characters. We are supposed to think like them, feel like them, be them. But this strict holding to the given words seems restricting. I'm a writer, and I know how important my words are, and i want people to use them right, but more importantly to me is that the story I want told is being given. What I've seen are words that mean the same thing, and sometimes add to the character. Using wish instead of want in some parts actually sounds better.
I am making no claim to know more than a practiced director. She's a good director and I respect what she thinks. This whole thing just seems like a set of mixed messages. We;re good enough to seem like the character's but not enough to speak like them? How little faith people have. I guess as long as the show turn out well, then this really doesn't matter too much.
Also, I'm amazed how powerful the urge to push certain theater majors off the stage can be.
Just something to chew on.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Fun For All
As I write this, there is a Rock, Paper, Scissor, tournament going on in my dorm. Everyone has been assigned brackets and pools, and everyone is supposed to play. This brings me to the topic of this little blurb.
I hate mandatory fun.
I like Rock, Paper, Scissor just fine, and I'd play on any other occasion. The thing is, i hate being told I have to do something that people think is fun. If I want to do it, I will, I don't need someone telling me that I have to participate. Camp of the Woods suffers from this same pulsing brain tumor of an idea. If I want to not have "fun" and be miserable, I have every right.
Here's the main flaw with this mandatory fun that kills it. Making something mandatory makes it a chore, no matter what it is. You send a group of kids to an amusment park and give them the criteria that they have to eat such an amount of cotton candy, then it isn't about enjoying the treat. You're fulfilling a requirement. If a thing is supposed to be fun, give people the freedom to make it so.
Another reason mandatory fun shoots itself in the foot is because of how people thing about the term "mandatory." Many people will refuse to participate because the activity is mandatory. This is what happens a lot at Camp. When speakers come, or events are scheduled, and are "mandatory," many of us go out of our way to not attend. I'm guilty of this, my brother is, and I know a number of our friends are as well. Honestly, fun is arbitrary. Some people really like the whole Rock, Paper, Scissor tournament. Me? I hate these idiotic little games, they just aren't fun to me.I have every right not to participate then.
Look, not everything needs to be voluntary, there are things out there that need to be done. Yet trying to force people to have fun is just not a useful. I feel things would flow so much smoother if we all stopped trying to force our own perceptions of entertainment onto people. Heck, if that happened, we'd be rid of all those annoying movie critics and judge things solely one what we enjoyed.
On a related note, I'm the only one undefeated in the dorm.
Just something to chew on.
I hate mandatory fun.
I like Rock, Paper, Scissor just fine, and I'd play on any other occasion. The thing is, i hate being told I have to do something that people think is fun. If I want to do it, I will, I don't need someone telling me that I have to participate. Camp of the Woods suffers from this same pulsing brain tumor of an idea. If I want to not have "fun" and be miserable, I have every right.
Here's the main flaw with this mandatory fun that kills it. Making something mandatory makes it a chore, no matter what it is. You send a group of kids to an amusment park and give them the criteria that they have to eat such an amount of cotton candy, then it isn't about enjoying the treat. You're fulfilling a requirement. If a thing is supposed to be fun, give people the freedom to make it so.
Another reason mandatory fun shoots itself in the foot is because of how people thing about the term "mandatory." Many people will refuse to participate because the activity is mandatory. This is what happens a lot at Camp. When speakers come, or events are scheduled, and are "mandatory," many of us go out of our way to not attend. I'm guilty of this, my brother is, and I know a number of our friends are as well. Honestly, fun is arbitrary. Some people really like the whole Rock, Paper, Scissor tournament. Me? I hate these idiotic little games, they just aren't fun to me.I have every right not to participate then.
Look, not everything needs to be voluntary, there are things out there that need to be done. Yet trying to force people to have fun is just not a useful. I feel things would flow so much smoother if we all stopped trying to force our own perceptions of entertainment onto people. Heck, if that happened, we'd be rid of all those annoying movie critics and judge things solely one what we enjoyed.
On a related note, I'm the only one undefeated in the dorm.
Just something to chew on.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Tolerance and Complacency
Before you delve into this wonder how I'm going to rant about races and equality and all that, I should clarify this. What's been itching me lately is media tolerance and complacency. Now I'm sure you're thinking, "What do you mean Todd?" To which I would say, "We're only two lines in, so stop being impatient and shut up and let me write."
The tolerance part is how we expect companies like Pixar and Bioware to keep showing excellence in their work. I am not saying that holding an industry to a high standard is a bad thing, but we've become tolerant of their work and tend to not look at it fairly. It's like if you were married to a rich person. They might give you a large diamond ring every month. After a while, you would get used to getting the ring, and even get bored with them. Has the diamond become less valuable? No, but the awe has worn off it seems. We start to take excellence as the status quo. A critic once said that Bioware doesn't get points anymore for having amazing writing. Seriously? Other companies can't even compare to the level of quality writing Bioware has, but that quaity, since it came from Bioware, doesn't matter? My issue is that we ask more of the companies that already give us some of the best.
And somehow, complacency is the exact opposite. We are fine with the complete level of garbage than we tend to get. Look at Twilight. I know that insulting Twilight is like playing a quadriplegic in basketball, you'll always win, but you won't have that satisfaction of a hard fought victory. till I feel that my point will be well illustrated by beating this dead horse, (who I have decided to name Gambit, just to mess with some people who might read this.) Most of you should know all of Twilight's faults, but what has been done about it? Nothing. Our society has decided to except that mediocre work of self-pleasing word vomit. Basically, the community has said, "We can't really expect anything better, so we'll just go with it." The film world is especially guilty of this. Things like romance movies and action films are so poorly done that we should be ashamed, but we still go to them since, "things will never get any better."
You want to know why things will never get better? Be cause we don't want them to. We support all the crap that gets put out there with our money. Why is it we don't let the crap that shouldn't be fade away? Don't buy bad books, don't go to see terrible movies, and for God's sake, turn off that reality T.V. The only way for all of the industries to get better is if we hold them to higher standards. What kind of weird, inverse relationship is this world coming to? The better things are, the more we want changed, and the worse things are, the more we settle. These industries serve us, and they need to meet our standards of excellence, no matter how high they are.
Also, I think Hollywood needs to burn Megan Fox at the stake.
Just something to chew on.
The tolerance part is how we expect companies like Pixar and Bioware to keep showing excellence in their work. I am not saying that holding an industry to a high standard is a bad thing, but we've become tolerant of their work and tend to not look at it fairly. It's like if you were married to a rich person. They might give you a large diamond ring every month. After a while, you would get used to getting the ring, and even get bored with them. Has the diamond become less valuable? No, but the awe has worn off it seems. We start to take excellence as the status quo. A critic once said that Bioware doesn't get points anymore for having amazing writing. Seriously? Other companies can't even compare to the level of quality writing Bioware has, but that quaity, since it came from Bioware, doesn't matter? My issue is that we ask more of the companies that already give us some of the best.
And somehow, complacency is the exact opposite. We are fine with the complete level of garbage than we tend to get. Look at Twilight. I know that insulting Twilight is like playing a quadriplegic in basketball, you'll always win, but you won't have that satisfaction of a hard fought victory. till I feel that my point will be well illustrated by beating this dead horse, (who I have decided to name Gambit, just to mess with some people who might read this.) Most of you should know all of Twilight's faults, but what has been done about it? Nothing. Our society has decided to except that mediocre work of self-pleasing word vomit. Basically, the community has said, "We can't really expect anything better, so we'll just go with it." The film world is especially guilty of this. Things like romance movies and action films are so poorly done that we should be ashamed, but we still go to them since, "things will never get any better."
You want to know why things will never get better? Be cause we don't want them to. We support all the crap that gets put out there with our money. Why is it we don't let the crap that shouldn't be fade away? Don't buy bad books, don't go to see terrible movies, and for God's sake, turn off that reality T.V. The only way for all of the industries to get better is if we hold them to higher standards. What kind of weird, inverse relationship is this world coming to? The better things are, the more we want changed, and the worse things are, the more we settle. These industries serve us, and they need to meet our standards of excellence, no matter how high they are.
Also, I think Hollywood needs to burn Megan Fox at the stake.
Just something to chew on.
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