Wistful

I write this latest entry from my throne in Swallow Robin lounge. If you can't read between the lines in that last one, I'll spell it out: I'm back at Taylor. Being back at school means a lot of new experiences and people. There have been a variety of new freshman showing up, and I'm working through my new responsibilities as the theater's master electrician. With greeting all this new challenges comes an interesting opposite, however. What I'm talking about is saying good-bye.

Why do we romanticize leaving so much?

Like I've said before, I'm not a big movie guy. I do, however, know enough about movie cliches to point to all those moody romantic movies that invariably have a scene were someone is either walking away and causing tension and angst, or someone is walking away with serious hope and a new found sense of purpose. While I realize that only little kids and autistic monkeys might think their lives will end up like movies, I also feel that we try to create such emotion in our good-byes.

I worked at a camp in New York all summer. I met a lot of great people out there. And then I had to go back to school. Thus I had to go through the long process of saying good-bye to as many of my friends as I could. A midst all the hands shakes and hugs and general good feeling, I couldn't help but feel that you never see anything like this in a movie. My good-bye sequence didn't have the same emotional weight that you can get on film. It wasn't that I didn't care about my friends as much as some fictitious floozy from a New York fashion industry, but that I wasn't trying to impress anyone with any emotional response. When we say good-bye, we do it to communicate to each specific person that they are important, and we want to leave on the right foot.

I think that this romanticized view that we get can often hamper our relationships. We get caught up in the idea that our farewell has to be some heart rending process that we sometimes forget to even see some people. I know that there were people who left before me, and I also knew that I saw very few of them to say good-bye, even though they had been a friend while working. I'm not saying that they hate me, just that they may have gotten so caught up in a proper good-bye to others that I slipped through the cracks.

I also believe that our flair for the dramatic is also an issue. I'm a theater guy, so I know what it means to be dramatic, and I've seen some very good actors in my short run. With that, I feel that I have seen some of the same type of acting in how people say good-bye. They want to make the best impact they can. Whether it is an unexpected going away present, the perfect sentimental words, or a meaningful kiss on the cheek (wanted or otherwise), we try so hard to make an point in our good-bye. I feel that this mentality can trivialize a friendship somewhat, that you don't think your friendship with the other person is all that they need, that they need some movie style farewell to really call you their peer.

Lastly, all the crying is an issue with me. My mom cried when I went off to college, I cried when I left my parents of my mission trip in Australia back in eighth grade. People cry when the move, when a boyfriend or girlfriend leaves, or just when there is something new that they have to leave for. We get so sad over having to leave. When I left camp, I was excited to get back to school. Sure I was going to miss people, but I can't say I was sad. when one of my friends was leaving (he came to see me) I told him that we have at least one more guaranteed time that we will see each other. That's the beauty of being a Christian. When we die, there will be a gathering of us all in heaven. We will see each other again and never have to worry about good-bye. That is a hope I live with. The German's have a term, auf wiedershen, meaning "until we see each other again." I have always liked that phrasing more. Good-bye sometimes seems hopeless, but auf wiedershen is a term that means you both have hope for seeing someone, and a desire to as well.

I don't mind the celebration, however, when i don't have to see certain people again.

Just something to chew on.