Human Trophies

Just so you know, this entry will not be about how to dip your enemies in gold and tastefully decorate your den with their solidified corpses (that comes next week). No, this is more of a social analysis. Arts and crafts and home decor have never been my strong suit, but criticizing people and the school that I go to sure are. I have noticed this topic is incredibly prevalent in Christian communities. It is something that I have been on the receiving end of and has caused me some strife.

Let's be clear, people are not achievements.

Now let's be more clear because that prior sentence may have made little sense. Let's say you know someone on campus that everyone knows. Every time you see them they waltz up to you say "Hi [Your Name]! How's your day?" To which you respond with one of the standard answers and then they leave you with their winning smile. Do you know what has just happened? Absolutely nothing. There was no substance there and there never will be. It's like someone gave some personality to a Speak and Spell and fed it the list of every student on campus.

These kind of people seem to think that just because they know everyone's names and have a freakishly sunny disposition that they are making friends. The number of people that they associate themselves with is indicative of their own worth. They blind themselves, thinking that they are being community minded and caring to everyone one, when in reality they have nothing but a shallow relationship with most of the people they come into contact with (and a surprisingly good memory for names).

What I'm getting at is something I feel I get at often. Mostly that people are shallow and cowardly, trying to satiate their own weaknesses through various levels of self-indulgence, but also that real relationships are not brought about by pretty words. They take care and time to listen to problems and praises and to share your own. I can think of a number of people at Taylor that are like this. They feed me the same greetings and don't care to get deeper. They know my name but God help us all if they know my dorm or major. These people are the ones with 3000 Facebook friends and add every single person they meet to their roster of names. The big numbers are supposed to impress others and make themselves feel better, but when someone like me sees the numbers it just seems like they have no concept of intimacy.

But the people as achievements idea can swing the exact opposite way. I also know a few people who try and know everything about people. They'll sit down with people for a few hours and ask all the deep probing questions you would expect from someone you've known for a while. Their attitude seems to be that once they know all these facts and theories, they are a part of that person's life. They are now important to them. That creates the same delusion as the other theory. Just because you know things doesn't mean you know people. They don't realize the information they have or the power that comes with it. Instead of turning back and investing in the people they skip on by with the illusion of genuine friendship. Look at it like any school test, knowing a bunch of random facts is nice, but if you can't apply any theories on the test you are bound to fail.

Invest in people. That's the basic idea. Don't have a surface relationship and don't expect that all your deep questions mean you understand the person. I have seen both ends and felt betrayed by both sides. Each side pretends to care while lying to you and themselves. I might sound harsh, and maybe I am, but it these kinds of fake friendships bother me. It is even worse in our Christian "communities." When these people try and influence lives, it becomes hypocrisy. They might not intend it to be, but their dishonesty in relationships do nothing to encourage their message.

Except Cody Allen Rushing. If you're reading this, you are the exception.

Just something to chew on.