If you remember last week (which most of you should, unless there was an excess of alcohol which raises some new questions) you know that I wrote about some benefits of being negative. I stand behind what I have written, and I am still the pessimist you all know and love. However, this week I am going to talk about something that might seem the exact opposite. Hang on, this might be heavy.
You can be as happy as you choose to be.
Admittedly, this sounds pretty cliche. I bet there are some self-help books out there that have this on page one, line one. It sounds like it would be such an easy decision, so much so that it seems like to trivial a solution to our troubles. We need some cosmic solutions right? Not entirely. Let me talk a bit about me.
It was a few nights back, I was reading the Last Battle by C.S. Lewis (you'll remember that I am taking a seminar, unless, again, alcohol). It was while reading through Lewis' descriptions of Aslan's country that I really got excited. It was something amazing to visualize. I felt that I should get out of my chair and fly along with the eagle as everyone ran through the country. It was amazingly appealing and created such beautiful images in my mind. I knew that this was the kind of place that I wanted to go to in my time. It was such an inviting picture of heaven. When I closed the book, I realized something: I was genuinely happy. This wasn't just the wistful, wishful kind of happy that comes from daydreaming, it was the kind of joy. I looked at my life, and my problems and my hurt was not so great anymore. I decided then that I would be happy. No one had the right to take that from me. For as long as I wanted, I could be happy. This week has been an exercise in that. Everyday that I've woken up and gone out in the world, I've been happy. Going to class, attending chapel, eating with friends, watching movies, everything that I've done has been a part of my choice to be happy.
I feel I've said this a dozen times before, but life is hard. You'll fight with friends, people will judge you unfairly, distance will separate friends, and countless other hurts can rise up in your life. Often it can feel overwhelming. I know I've been up late at night, my mind racing with things that I could say or arguments that I could give. I still have trouble with that (though I've started listening to classical music through my head phones, it helps). Yet when I feel troubled, I know that God has more for me than whatever crap is going on now. Even if my whole life is rough, there is more to come after. I've taken comfort in that and I've started to choose to be happy. I keep praying, trying to turn over any anger or hurt to God.
Maybe you would like a couple of practical steps in this? I talk a big game, but there's definitely some things you can do other than just believe like life is a Disney movie. Here's a few things I do. One thing is a prayer life. I took my dad's idea and set some alarms on my watch for times I know I'll be awake. When they go off, I send up a short prayer, typically thanking God for whatever is going on right then. Pastor Craig from life church has a new series called Better. In it, he mentions that having a continual prayer life is a great way to live each day with God. These alarms are a step toward that. Another thing you can do is indulge a bit. I'm not talking excessive spending, but if there is something that caught your eye, think about letting yourself get it. I am not making any case that materialism brings happiness, but it can be a pick me up. Honestly, I bought Angry Birds for my Kindle. It's fun and enjoyable. A third thing is going out and doing something fun. Obvious I know. I went karaoking with friends at Buffalo Wild Wings. I can't sing all that hot, but it is a fun time. Spending it with friends and being ridiculous made it all the better. Spending time with friends, with people that care about you, is probably the best thing you can do.I know that I have solid friends in my dorm that care about who I am, and I care about them as well. With that, telling people you care about them is also great. It shows them your loyalty, and they often return in kind. Good communication, honest give and take, it's a foundation of strong relationships.
Happiness is a hard thing sometimes. It requires work and the mindset to stay with it. But when you convince yourself that the shallow nature of others isn't going to hurt you anymore, and you begin to value even more the people who prove they are your real friends, you can stay happy. Your choice becomes easier when you care for others, and have them care for you.
Listening to a bit of Frank Sinatra (like I'm doing while writing this) doesn't hurt either.
Just something to chew on.
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