There is so much about sex that we don't understand as a culture. We have conflicting ideas on homosexuality, premarital sex, marital commitment, and personal gratification. Christians can site various studies about sexual satisfaction, and those on the other side have their claims. I can make no claim about knowing the intimate details of sex, but I have been doing my research into the concept as a whole. I want to look at one idea today.
Marriage isn't a restriction.
I've heard the argument that no one should have to wait for a ticket from the church, claiming their marriage as true, to have sex. Especially for those who are atheists this claims seems to be a bit outlandish. And I would be inclined to agree. There is nothing specific about the paper you get from a church that makes the sex you have with your spouse that much more legitimate than with anyone else. Note that I am saying that the paper has no significance.
What does have significance is the claim made with it. Marriage is a promise to be true to the one you are with. With the free-wheeling sex that is so common on the bar scenes these days, there is no real commitment to it. Even between those who claim to love each other, there is not that permanent commitment. Marriage is taking a vow that says you will stay with this person for the rest of your life. That makes sex a gift between husband and wife that will not be shared with anyone else.
In theory.
The thing is, with the cultural idea with sex being skewed, our views on marriage are just as messed up. Marriage was supposed to be a permanent bond between a man and a woman. That was the reason they were "allowed" to have sex. They would be wholly committed to each other. These days, that idea has died. Marriage is seen as a temporary thing, able to be picked up and dropped at our leisure. If we are unsatisfied with whatever situation we are in, we can get out and find something new.
With this change, that commitment expected for sex that comes from marriage is null. So to think that they need to make a commitment to have sex is irrational, at least in their minds. This is where the disconnect comes from. What we need to do as a society of Christians is address the real issues. These are the value of intimacy, the power of commitment, and the satisfaction that comes from deep connections physically and emotionally. Too often we yell about not having sex without getting the real mindset change that needs to precede it.
Also, I was going to call this article "Ticket to Ride" but that was just trashy.
Just something to chew on.
