Our Kids Are Doomed

This is a warning to every one of you who are thinking about being parents. What I am going to discuss today is something you might not have noticed or are maybe even endorsing. You might not realize the dangers that is crouching at your door step, waiting for your children to fall victim to it. It is already lurking in countless homes here and around the world. Be warned, this may be shocking.

Cartoons today suck.

So maybe the hype was a bit much, but what I say is still true. If any of you have seen the recent programming on Cartoon Network, you can almost trace the line of decay that the shows have gone through. From when we were young to where we are now, cartoons have nosedived from the wit and humor of days gone to the drug induced, color vomiting, flashing distraction it is now.

Do you now what I found on Boomerang lately? Teen Titans. That's right, that five season action/comedy show that we watched when we were only a bit younger is on the retro station. I miss shows like that. Teen Titans was fun, it had engaging action, deep characters, thoughtful plot lines, as well as the fun wit, tantalizing art, and wacky style. It was surprisingly mature while keeping its silly side. Teen Titans offered little nuggets of truth to kids on topics like friendship, hard work, respect, and others. They weren't heavy handed about it, but it was there all the same. Looking back on it, I see these messages more clearly, and I appreciate them.

In contrast, we now have Adventure Time. If ever a show was made while under the influence of Acid, this is it. The sheer lunacy of this astounds me. There is nothing here but cliche dialogue, bright colors, and psychotically loony characters (not like Looney Tunes, that is awesome). There is no depth to the story or the characters, no merit in anything that it does. This type of show is nothing more than a mindless block of thirty minutes for parents to shove their kids in front of to get them out of the way.

I remember Saturday mornings. I'd wake up early, get a bowl of cereal and use the piano bench as my table. I'd sit on the couch and watch hours of cartoons. I knew the theme songs, I loved the characters, and the shows helped build my imagination. This isn't just nostalgia that I'm running off of. I like to buy the old shows I loved and watch the DVDs. Even now, when I'm twenty years old, the shows are still good. They have the same charm and wit that I appreciated, even more now that I understand them better. There was an art to cartoons back then. Now, it seems like it is all a quick cash in. Corporations turn out shiny, mindless, and shallow programs that are made to waste kids time and earn them ratings. This industry is in need of an overhaul. We need those out there who are willing to invest time and passion into their product and create something meaningful as well as enjoyable. We can do it, our generation of artists, writers, directors, and producers can save our future children from the slime that is called kids programming now.

Seriously, some of these shows now could only have been produced in a drugged up state.

Just something to chew on.